I know it's a little late but Happy New Year everyone. Seeing as this is my first Blog Post in some time I want to catch you guys up.
2015 was a mixed bag. I didn't make a big fuss about the release of Psykosis in February, which I do regret to some extent. Sure, it wasn't a full-length novel but it is a story that I am proud of. I mean how often does a writer have full recollection of a dream and then implement it into a story? Not very often for me. I can think of only two other times, and neither had the dream as the main turning point of the story.
Much of 2015 was spent working on screen stories. I was in a creative groove last year. Ideas were coming fast and furious, so even though I did release a book most of my creative efforts were spent focused on new screenplays and screenplay ideas. It was a nice change of pace after focusing on literary work for much of 2014. It did, however, detract from my responsibility to promote my new book. It's not my favorite part of writing, but as a self-published writer it is an important part of the process. So I can not blame anyone for the lack of sales or feedback but myself. If that was what I wanted then I should have balanced my time more wisely. It did force me to reassess my goals as a self-published writer.
With Monarch I was super motivated. I took classes, attended seminars and writing festivals. I scoured the internet for advice and peppered social media with updates. I even updated this blog weekly. In short, I did what I was supposed to do as a self-published writer trying to get people's attention. Was I satisfied with those efforts? In truth, I had no idea what to expect. So for me the results were my litmus test for future endeavors, as I had every attention to keep writing and releasing stories.
Now that I have released a four-part novel series and a novella what are my views of self-publishing? Like most things in life, you get out what you put in... for the most part. The thing with self-publishing that is different than from an actual job is that there is no guarantee that you will make money. If you are self-employed and perform a service, you get paid for the work that you do. The extra time you put in that you don't get paid for is about building relationships and trying to capture more business. That much is true in writing as well. There is just so much more time put in on a job with writing a book than with say a plumber replacing a pipe. In some regards self-publishing is more like a charity than a business. That is why I had to change my way of thinking about my self-published work.
Until I start taking my work to a publisher, I have decided to approach my writing as a hobby instead of as a job that I have to make a profit off of. It is a healthier way to approach things. Seeing as I am no longer in my twenties, a healthy perspective on things might be considered wise.
When I was in my twenties I wrote strictly screenplays and some poetry. While the poetry was utter nonsense, the screenplays contained some substance that were worth sharing. One of my greatest fears as a younger man, and this is true, was that I would reach a point in my life when the story ideas would not be as fresh and vital as I believed they were back then. Where that idea came from I can only speculate. I imagine it had to do with my views on other artists who seemed to lose perspective after reaching fame. At one time I did think that achieving success as a young man was possible. I suppose a psychiatrist might question whether I intentionally undermined my chance for success because of those fears, however, that is a discussion best left for my eventual memoirs, should I choose to write them. Now I am more concerned about getting back to work on writing and releasing more stories.
As a kid I never imagined myself a writer. I was tall and athletic and had no trouble making friends. Writing, in my mind, was for people who dreamed of having those attributes. I was a doer. My physical prowess was only one part of me, though. I had a knack for tinkering and had a vivid imagination. I loved taking things apart that were broken to see if I could fix it, learning all about the inside of broken electronics. It wasn't until high school that I discovered that I also had a knack for storytelling. Up until then school was just something I had to do before I could go and play sports. It took an assignment in English class where we were to create a TV commercial to spark my creative juices. My teacher, Ms. Black, saw that I had a knack for it before I did. I will always be grateful to her for helping to foster that in me. Ever since then I have tinkered more with words and ideas than with electronics.
My perspective on life has changed a great deal since those early days of writing. I was invincible then, or so I believed. I had a far more traditional view on the world, one that suited a so-called normal life. Back then I was certain that I would do what society expected of me: graduate from college, begin a career with a path towards retirement, stat a family, and then settle into old age. Along the way I began to question the logic behind my conventional plans for the future. As humans we instinctively want to leave something behind after we leave this life. For most people that means offspring. I too want to leave something behind after I am gone, yet in my mid-twenties what I wanted to leave behind became something much different than the norm. It began with the pretentious belief that I had to leave something behind that might help others learn more about themselves and the world. I had no business thinking that I had something of value to say at such a young age, but I was sure that I had some insight into the inner workings of this world that might open people's eyes and cause them to see things that they might not otherwise have seen. Back then there was already 7 billion people in the world and bringing in more people into a world already overpopulated with idiots didn't and still doesn't make any sense to me. Instead, I decided that what I would leave behind would be these enlightening stories that might also entertain. To accept that I had to do so as a hobby was a hard pill to swallow, which was the cause of my unrest last year. I have come to terms with it though and put it all in perspective. Approaching writing as a hobby has actually been liberating. It has allowed me to remove some of the self-imposed pressure that I had been carrying for a long time. With that burden removed it has allowed me to plan for future writing endeavors as well.
Last summer I came up with the current writing plan that I am still focused on. That plan involves four novel series. Two of those series were former screenplays written years ago. Those screenplays were patterned after movies with a structure like that of Crash and Creepshow with several story lines interwoven. That style works very well for a novel series and so made perfect sense to rewrite them as such. The part of me that wants to leave something behind for others could not allow those screen stories to slip into oblivion without people having had a chance to read them. Seeing as I have made this a hobby as opposed to a job, I can no longer mindlessly pitch and query producers, actors, directors and production companies in hope that they might assist me in making my stories into films instead of the other million stories that pass their desks on a yearly basis. No matter how much I believe in my stories and my skills as a storyteller I just don't have the time that I once had. Time and money, they are the two greatest burdens that all of us face when trying to achieve our dreams. Besides, I can get these stories into people's hands all on my own, thank you very much. And to keep a creative balance and sanity, I will transition to one of the stories that was not previously a screenplay but has been on the back burner for several years. I fear I might pop if I don't get it on paper soon, it has been marinating so long.
I no longer feel it is as pretentious to want to leave stories behind for others. That is what writers do. Not all writers write for the same reason, though we all write because it is who we are. To me it doesn't matter how many people read my work. I just need to write, release and then move on to the next story.
Now you're up to date. Things don't change much in a writer's world, which is the way we like it. Give us time and money and we will carry on as normal, hopefully releasing more work. With or without them we carry on anyway in our efforts to deliver something new. The younger me might be surprised to see me now so passionate about a writing hobby, but the young tinkerer would understand the evolution that brought us to this point, and might even see it as a noble cause. If I were to get a glimpse of myself twenty years from now, would I be surprised to see that another evolution had taken place? Probably, because I have created a situation that allows me to carry on creatively for as long as I have material to write. If I weren't still doing that, and yet still capable of doing so, I cannot imagine why I wouldn't still be writing or storytelling in some other way. I've yet to dismiss the possibility of a return to acting as an old man. That would still surprise me, but again I might understand the evolution.
Cheers
