Amazon, oh Amazon, why does thou hate me so?

I wish I could say that all was roses in my small self-publishing world, but I don't like to lie or pull punches.  It wears at my soul and would go against my reason for starting this blog in the first place.  This space on the web is meant to detail my process of self-publishing.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  

I'm not sure where Amazon fits into that, but they sure aren't the good, not after what they've done to my eBooks and my readers.  And once I tell you about it, you'll likely have your own thoughts and may even agree.  

I know my particular eBook is unconventional: one book with four parts added at different times.  But it is the way I had to do it with the time constraints I posed upon myself.  If I were to release a 600 - 700 page novel in September or October, there would be so little time before the integral date in the book of 12/21/2012 that some people might not have enough time to finish it by then.   Very Uncool.  And I want cool to be the rule when it comes to my readers.  I don't mind running hot over people making mistakes.  We all make mistakes.  But when people mess with my readers I take it personally.  I am doing all that I can to start a career as a novelist and my readers are everything to me.  

Due to their tardiness I was forced to contact Amazon yesterday about my recent release of Stage Two.  "Two weeks" I was promised originally as a response to my request for an email update in regard to my addition of over two hundred pages.

Below is the email I received today after I had to contact Amazon once they did not respond within two weeks like they had promised.  

From:	Kindle Direct Publishing (kdp-support@amazon.com)
Sent:	Tue 6/12/12 4:33 AM

Hello Aaron,

 I'm very sorry about this delay in receiving a response, in your case it has taken a little longer than normal.
I have liaised with the appropriate department in order to find out which conclusion was reached, and what action will be taken on your content.

Their response was that the changes made to your content have been deemed minor, and we won’t be able to notify all customers by email.
Therefore, we have activated their ability to update the content through the Manage Your Kindle page on Amazon.com.

Your Customers may now log into their Manage Your Kindle (www.amazon.com/manageyourkindle) pages in their Amazon accounts and search for your title.
They should now see an option to update the content, and a confirmation message will appear when they select to Update.

The new content will overwrite the old content. Please make sure that they are aware that once the new content is received, features such as Highlights, Last Page Read and Bookmarks will be removed and the locations of notes may not match in the updated copy of their book.

As you can imagine I was not thrilled when I read this. I busted my ass to deliver Stage Two on the release date, and then they tell me this.  

They start off with a lie.  Two weeks is more than enough time, especially considering that I had to contact them after the two weeks just to get this response.  Then to pass blame to another department is gutless.  Not to mention that they sent out emails for Stage One just five days after I asked them last year. 

Then they have the nerve to tell me that the changes I made were deemed MINOR.  Unbelievable!   If over two hundred pages and a full-page illustration are considered minor, then I can't even begin to think of what is considered major.  

The gross incompetence doesn't stop there, though.  At the bottom of the message they state that the update is available in Manage Your Kindle.  It has not even been made available yet.  Grrrrrr!   (And I've been checking throughout the writing of this message.)   

This blog is about the process of me self-publishing my first book.  Amazon's incompetence has now taken center stage in that process.  They are wasting my time as I try and make right what they have totally messed up.  This shouldn't be this way, but it is what it is.  Live and learn.  In this regard, do as I say not as I have done. If you plan to release something similar to the way I have, don't use Amazon until they fix these inexcusable failings.  

Ugh... I feel sullied even having to talk about this stuff.  Stage Three take me away.  

So then I had to call Amazon's customer service this morning, since there is no phone number on the Kindle Direct Publishing help page.  The representative, a nice enough fellow, tells me, after I waited on hold for fifteen minutes, that he cannot find a number for KDP either.  WTF?  This guy works for Amazon and KDP is a part of Amazon. I rolled my eyes, bit my lip and drew a disbelieving sigh.  He said he'd get back to me.  Whatever.  Moving on.  

You would think the KDP part of the company hadn't created the biggest worldwide shakeup in publishing since the printing press, but it has.  How can something so important to the future of publishing be so incompetent, and yet it is. 

Now I have to do one of the things I despise most in this world, and that is apologize for the failings of other people.  This was one of the very reasons I stepped away from screenplays and movies.  

I am so sorry that those of you who have downloaded Monarch over the past year have had to wait unnecessarily for Amazon to pull their collective head out of their butt and make my hard work available to you.

As soon as I find out anything I will post it here, on my facebook page and on my twitter page.   

-aap