2012: The Beginning of the End (An honest look back)

I must mention at the beginning of this post that all can not be revealed here.  With more eyes on what I put on the web these days, I will be unable to totally rehash 2012 in full.  It breaks my heart to have to hold back on the truth, but that is the way things are.  Should I ever become a self-made billionaire writer who answers only to himself, then I can fully disclose all the obstacles I had to overcome to deliver Monarch this year.

The most disheartening thing to me right now is the fact that there are still errors in the story.  They are mostly small errors that should have been fixed prior to the release of the paperback.  I own up to my mistakes and can blame no one but myself.  

Had time not been so sensitive with this story I might not have self-published.  In truth, I was editing up until after midnight on December 8th.  Could all four stages have used a last Quality Control run through?  Absolutely!  As writer and publisher it is my responsibility to deliver the best product possible.  Had certain things, which I am not at liberty to discuss until I put them in my memoirs some time from now, happened differently over the past three years, those errors likely would not be there.  But they are for now.  What you see in the pages of Monarch was what I could do with the time restrictions I placed upon myself.  And again, it is my responsibility to go back and fix any and all errors after the new year.  

I would like to be able to lie to you and tell you that all these other great moments took place this year.  That would just not be true.  This year has been a battle for me.  While I am glad to say that I survived, I cannot say that I am better off than I was this time last year.  I would elaborate, but again I am obligated to not go into detail at this time.  

You can see my frustration.  How do I properly paint a picture of the year that was, if I cannot disclose all that took place.  The truth is I am unable to go in depth into 2012.  You will have to accept that some of what I am unable to mention involves others and I do not want to hurt them or myself by speaking truths that might affect the future for them or myself.  Such is life, no?

One reason I felt the need to publish Monarch was because of Cipher, the story my main character, Ginger, reads in Monarch.  I wrote Cipher back in 2000 as a screenplay but did nothing with it, other than make a short film trailer.  As the past decade unfolded I always had Cipher in the back of my mind.

It wasn't until 2005 that I began to notice similarities in the story as was taking place in the real world.  Sounded crazy to me, so I let it go as coincidence and as my love for Cipher potentially making something out of nothing. Years later, as I was working on the 1st draft of Monarch I implemented my perceived coincidences as those of the readers of Cipher.

Monarch has not even been out in its entirety for even a month and I have found a not-so-happy coincidence with Monarch and our present reality.  In just over 12 hours our country will be going over the fiscal cliff.  Whether we can prevent it or not, no one knows just yet.  However, there are two moments in Monarch that seem eerily similar to what may potentially take place at midnight to our economy.  I don't want to ruin the story, but if you read Monarch I hope you'll take a moment to think about the big picture when that not-so-happy coincidence takes place.

If I were not a self-publishing author, I would let someone else point such a thing out. It would surely sound better coming from someone else, but there is no one else lining up to point these things out.  So here I am.  These so-called coincidences are evident even in many of the books that I read.  My mother even mentioned a book she was reading that had a reference to something in current events. We look for relevance in all that we consume.  Hopefully our country and the world won't go over the fiscal cliff tonight.  God knows I need my tax refund just as much as anyone else.  But if we do flip the page to a new year and no agreement has been made, I will not smile and say I told you so, because I never actually did.  Symbolism and metaphors are not the same as what will be happening to my wallet.  They aren't, no matter how similar the images. While it is true my main character is a metaphor for something larger than herself, what happens to her is her journey and not the journey of all of us.

This year has been an absolute whirlwind and I am thrilled that it has come to an end.  My hopes are high for 2013.  I am no longer on the clock in regard to a writing project.  Can't even begin to tell you what a burden that was.

For those that are interested, I have two stories that I hope to do something with next year. One is a screenplay follow-up to Monarch.  The story is about James Ruth and is better suited for the screen than the page.  The other is entitled Psykosis.  It is much shorter than Monarch but touches on some of the same issues as my first novel.  These three stories make up my Psychological Apocalypse trilogy.  I find the human mind fascinating and I believe it is the frontier of the near future.  These three stories mark the old world of the human mind and memory, the pitfalls if you will.

Hope you are as excited about the new year as I am.  I look forward to discussing things in greater detail on the other side.  Hopefully, it's not as we are plummeting toward another great depression.  Take a deep breath and embrace whatever comes next. We'll face it together.

Happy New Year!

-aap

Cipher Poems (Vol. 1)

As promised here are a couple of poems.  Having gone through several notebooks, I realized that it might be best to use some of the poems that were in the original screenplay for Cipher.      

Walls

Within these walls you can begin anew.  Some have cowered at the magnitude of their surroundings, and so they should. For the knowledge obtained here just may come with a price. 

Now.  

With your sex on, having dawned an animal mask, you easily slip through.

Natural Law now absorbing what man once made.  Soft green surroundings rounding off what once was square.  Slowly you enter its dark wooden inlayed heart and soul.  Dimly lit warm and inviting your pulse begins to race and time as you know it ceases to exist.  For within these walls you become atmosphere and mystery for another.

Having each other’s free will to play with, you watch it waged upon like horses and cattle at auction.  All the while drinking from vessels usually reserved for celebration.  Drawing forth a golden nectar from within these walls and toasting with those who have resolved. 

With a head full of spirited confidence you rise and begin to dance.  Circling one another and then surrounded.  You toss your head back and think of long lingering memories with a smile. 

(Snap)

It’s time for your branding. 

For within these walls there is just one kind of understanding.  And while beauty in youth does reside, from the cipher none can hide.

Witches Cauldron

Cauldron of significant occurrence,

Mix it and watch it bubble.

Worry not for those in trouble;

They’ll catch up or fate shall double.

Rendered helpless by intricate design; 

Help shall be offered, 

Creeping forth from behind. 

When words are not necessary (Poem)

When words are not necessary, an ending has either long since passed or is close at hand.  You find yourself speechless due to exhaustion of the mind or physical condition.

The King of Sighs rules this realm.  He has seen an epiphany in the eyes of billions, marveled as all worries ease into gladness.  Long it has been since he has smiled back.

The bond between one and another, when words are not needed, is as close to a psychic connection as the masses can achieve.  At these moments, new archetypes are forged in our swelling collective conscious.  Monuments of the mind or cloud figurines?

Be you a seeker or lost finder, your path shall lead you there.  And words won’t be necessary.

-----------------      --------------------       -----------------------


This marks the first of several Cipher inspired poems that I hope to post over the next year.  They will be grouped together in Ted's Poetry Page.

-aap

Release Date Change for Monarch: Egg

In my last post, I wrote about how an SPA (Self-Publishing Author) must listen and adapt.  Well, I have been listening and must make a change.  The reason for this change is something I regret not having taken into account earlier this year. 

In late May, it became evident that non-writing issues would prevent me from meeting my then July deadline, so I moved the release date to November 11th.  All was a little more chaotic then and I was not as focused as I needed to be.  I did not take into full account the November 11-12 Atlanta Writers Club Conference I signed up for in mid-June. 

I justified the close proximity of these two big events, choosing to believe that it would actually help to have my book out on the market one day before I meet with agents and publishers.  One day?  I should have changed the release date again then. Did I?  No.

Yes, meeting and talking with fellow writers about my newly released book at the conference might help short-term sales, though it would likely ruin any chance I might have at securing an agent.  I tried to hide the fact that an agent or publisher might lose interest in my story, if I were to self-publish it the day before meeting them. I believed that it could somehow bolster their interest.  I was wrong.  The days are too close.  

I had in mind three possible release dates at the beginning of the year.  The first was early July, which was changed because of issues beyond my control.  The second was November, and I don't see it happening because of the conference.  The third was December, with one year to go to the end of the Mayan Calendar on 12/21/2012.  I cannot release any later than the winter solstice on 12/22/2011. That will still allow readers one full year, with leap day included, to read Monarch.  A solar year.    

Now that I have the end in sight, I see that my egregious error is not that I must change the release date.  No.  I am an unknown author.  The people I have wanting to read my book right now, I probably know.  My error is that I may have disappointed some of them. 

To you, I apologize. I appreciate your support and I apologize for having to alter the release date of Monarch: Egg to December 22nd.  It means a great deal to me that you would purchase my book before it was available.  If I do release it earlier than 12/22/11 or give a possible sneak peek, those of you who have bought your copy before 11/11/11 will be the first to know.

E n t e r

 t h e 

C i p h e r

-aap 

Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman: Is there a Sixth Sense?

I am a fan of mystery in all forms.  The unknown and, as yet, unexplained keep my interest like nothing else.  It's just how I tick.  And I think I have finally found a TV show worth recording.   For years I have been fascinated with physics and psychology and many of the new findings that are discovered through those particular fields.  In the new episode of Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman they delved into to yet another subject that correlates to my current writing project, Monarch, and more importantly the story within my novel, Cipher, that my main character is reading in the lead up to the big mystery of 12/21/2012.   Let me explain.

The title of last night's episode was "Is there a Sixth Sense?"  Sounds ridiculous to most people.  A sixth sense in humans has been the subject of many a science fiction or horror story for well over a hundred years, but now science is attempting to confirm that this "sixth sense" may actually exist.  The reason it has gone undiscovered, or unaccepted, until now was that a) it is not as strong as our other five senses; and b) we haven't been able to properly measure it until now.  But last night they interviewed several scientists who have been conducting experiments into the possibility that this sixth sense actually exists in all of us.  One experiment that has been going on for over a decade now - The Global Consciousness Project at Princeton University - seemed most promising in proving that indeed a sixth sense does exist, and that we are all connected.  Very heady stuff!

Another interviewed scientist attributed this to a morphic field, tied to the Earth's magnetic field, that unifies us all - much like migratory birds.  And when they mentioned a collective consciousness, or cosmic consciousness, I felt a tingle go up the back of my spine.  I don't want to give too much away, but in Cipher, the story within the story of my novel,  the main character ventures to a parallel world that is our Collective Conscious.  My story is a work of fiction, and what happens in my story has little to do with what they are talking about in this show,  but I tried to base it upon what I thought was a collective reflection of what we, as humans, believe in.  At the time of my writing Cipher my father was very sick, and my thoughts were on eternity.  But I had actually begun work on this before I even knew he was ill.  My moving back East was planned to do research on this project before he had informed me.  I have tried to dismiss it as coincidence for the better part of twelve years, but after watching last night's show I am not so sure.

They put forth the theory that people can indeed sense the future.  I thought I was just contemplating my navel at the time and trying to make sense of eternity.  Could it be that I was actually somehow aware that something was about to happen, and that my choice of subject matter for my screenplay was somehow tied to my sixth sense telling me that my father would soon be passing away?  Last night's show suggested that might possibly be the case.

F-ing bizarre, right?  I try not to lend myself to all these theories on a daily basis, because I have a life to live, and thinking that we are all connected in some way or can sense the future would keep one wondering if something horrible might be happening anytime you have indigestion.  So until there is definitive proof, we should probably go under the assumption that these things are just coincidence.  But who knows, maybe one day we will all be able to tap into a sixth sense that will help us all in some way.

If you have any interest in knowing more about the world around you, as well as within, then I HIGHLY recommend this show - you will not be disappointed.

-aap

Where December 21, 2012 meets eternity

I was watching an interesting show last night that was hosted by Morgan Freeman.  I believe it was called "Through the Wormhole."  It touched on issues that I have always found of interest, like life after death and consciousness.  Back in 1999 I began doing research for one of my first screenplays, Cipher.  Those of you who have kept up with my blog here (and I thank you for doing so) will be aware of that story to some extent; and any of you who read my novel, Monarch, when it is released in December, will also become aware of my fascination with consciousness and the possibility of some trace of ourselves continuing on after we, our physical selves, have expired.

In the show they interviewed a doctor, I believe he was a neurologist, who suffered from meningitis and fell into a coma for a period of time.  After he came out of a coma and recovered he vividly remembered experiencing things that he, as a neurologist, would have otherwise found hard to believe; but remember he did.  He described crawling around through the dirt and leaves for an extended period of time, saying that it was awful.  But then he emerged from the dirt and was taken to flight, as if on the wings of a butterfly.  Now he had my attention.  He described effortlessly fluttering through valleys along with a large group of other butterflies.  He went on to describe being drawn towards space and a source, possibly the source of all existence.  Heady stuff for a guy who is not suppose to have the capacity to remember anything after being in the diseased state that he was in.    

The show continued on, talking about other near-death experiences, but I was fixed on the doctor's butterfly memory.  Can you blame me?  I too have an interest in butterflies, especially since my soon-to-be-released novel is titled and patterned after North America's most spectacular butterfly of them all, the Monarch. 

Where does 2012 come in to all of this?  My story does most definitely deal with that looming date in the not so distant future, and life and death do play an integral part of the story.  The story my main character reads, Cipher, also deals with life and death and a parallel existence to ours here, as well as what it postulates for 12/21/2012.  Her reading of that particular story as time winds down to 12/21/2012, for her, and all of those in her life, is the crux of the story.

The number four plays a big role in my telling of Monarch.  There are not only four stages to my novel, much like there are four stages to the life cycle of the Monarch butterflies life cycle, but also, if I am successful, there are four layers of experience.  Allow me to explain.  The first layer is of my main character, Ginger,  and her life; the second is of the main character in Cipher, Ted Parker, and his struggles; the third is the parallel world that Ted becomes all too aware of; and the fourth is, hopefully, that of the reader of Monarch and the effect the reading of the story might have on the reader.  All four of the layers converge on 12/21/2012.  Ginger must finish Cipher before that date.  Ted's life is all but controlled by the date.  The parallel world in Cipher is tied to this one, so it too is controlled by the date.  And any reader who I hope will read my Novel will be compelled to read it, much like Ginger is compelled to read Cipher, before 12/21/2012 arrives in one year, six months and four days.


The writing of this story, which I consider beginning way back in 1999 with the first ideas for Cipher,  has been the most magnificent journey of my life.  The experiences over the past twelve years have been good, bad and somewhere in between.  I wouldn't trade them for anything, even if there are days that I wish I could.  I can't wait to share it all with you.

Thanks for reading.

-aap

CIPHER

Back in 1999 I was still living in Los Angeles.  I had originally gone out west to pursue my passion for acting.  After several years of going to auditions and working on whatever I could the allure began to lose its tarnish.  Trying to carve myself a niche was a tough slog.  I was making inroads and had some connections, but was growing more and more frustrated with the whole process and all the downtime between gigs.  And I was not getting any offers on the roles I actually wanted.  Such is life.  If I had stuck with it I might have eventually landed that choice role.  But I was restless.  In those downtimes between gigs I was writing - something I had been doing even before I moved West.  I started on my first screenplay back in Atlanta in 1996 but never did anything with it, and once I moved to LA all but forgot about it.

In '98, while in LA, I was asked to adapt a project.  Unfortunately the company went under before I had a chance to do so, but it was that project, along with the lack of juicy roles, that led me towards writing.  By '99 I was split in my devotions.  Part of me still loved acting, but the other part wanted to actually be working on something of interest.  I never wanted to be some famous person with no life.  No.  I wanted to create something memorable and then disappear into the next project.  That was the point when I began taking notes for Cipher.

In Hollywood there is a lot of  talk of spirituality and living in tune with one another.  It's almost like the leftovers of the hippie culture of the late '60s.  That, of course, is only one side of the coin.  The other side is much darker and just as prevalent.  It was this duality that sent my mind spinning into motion with Y2K fast approaching. The actor side of me decided I needed to begin doing research.  I no longer felt that LA was where I needed to be.  My story was to be set back East, and my suitcase simply followed. 

The tie to 2012 was partly motivated by the world's fear over Y2K, and also by the research I did into the Maya civilization.  The world's belief in duality and the effective use of parallel worlds in works like Alice In Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz helped me to envision another parallel world for my story.  Yet my parallel world was darker, and certainly not meant for a children's audience. 

By the summer of 2000 I had completed the first draft of part one of Cipher and was beginning on part two and three.  I had envisioned this massive trilogy like Lord of the Rings.  It's funny, when I was still in LA preparing to move back East I heard about LTR going into production.  It was a moment I'll never forget.  It was like a punch in the gut.  The look I had in mind for my parallel world was similar to that of Tolkien, with bizarre creatures like Orcs and Elves.  I immediately had to rethink things, which was probably for the best, even if it meant changes.  These little hiccups, these unexpected exterior influences, I came to find out, are as much a part of the process as everything else.  Embracing the unexpected, and using it for one's own benefit, has become a rule for me when writing.  Because if you want to finish, you just can't stop.   

In the summer of 2001 I completed filming the trailer for Cipher.  Apparently I now wanted to be a director, writer and actor.  No, not really.  I was a director out of necessity, as it is obvious to see in the trailer.

Once I finished the trailer September 11th happened, and my story and my trailer immediately lost importance.  I had hoped to have Cipher made into a movie by 2012, but other things became more important.  Family and friends came first.  Time continued to pass by and one year turned into decade.  I continued to write, cranking out almost twenty screenplays during that period.  Yet something was missing.  Cipher had been my life for the better part of two turbulent and memorable years, and 2012 was just over two and a half years away.  If I were to just forget about Cipher and let 2012 come and go without doing anything with it, well, it seemed a tremendous waste.

Thus I began work on Monarch and the implementation of Cipher as an apocalyptic tome that my main character reads as the clock ticks down to 12/21/2012.

-aap